


whispers would deafen me now

by thedisasternerd



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Wild Space - Karen Miller
Genre: Bail is everyone's emotional support husband, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned Polyamory Negotiations, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Post Zigoola, Protective Bail Organa, Requited Unrequited Love, never thought I'd use that tag but these two are Like That
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26008171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedisasternerd/pseuds/thedisasternerd
Summary: “You’re alive.” Obi-Wan swallowed loudly and his eyes flitted like dying butterflies over Bail’s face. “Oh Force, you’re alive.”His hands feathered over Bail’s features as if scared to touch and yet unable not to. It was all Bail could do to keep breathing, keep looking straight into the Jedi’s eyes. He barely stopped himself from taking Obi-Wan’s hands in his and pressing them into his skin, tangling their fingers together, leaning in-“Yeah.” Bail blinked and watched Obi-Wan do the same, fine ginger eyelashes over endless blue eyes. “I’m alive. So are you, Obi-Wan.”---After Zigoola, they found each other again.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Bail Organa
Comments: 10
Kudos: 116





	whispers would deafen me now

**Author's Note:**

> Recently read Wild Space by Karen Miller and it was... an experience to say the least. I'm a changed man. Please read it if you can it's a) gay b) very gay c) good plot???? d) amazing dynamics all around and e) generally Really Good.
> 
> This thing is me trying to get the bailobi out of my system; unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> ALSO! I made up some Alderaanian for this fic, since I wasn't able to find any canon language for it. Truthfully, my version is pretty much slightly warped Russian (my native language, believe it or not), so there is no Tolkien-esque level of intricacy. Translations are in the end notes ❤️
> 
> (Title is from "It's all so incredibly loud" by Glass Animals)

Obi-Wan turned up in Bail’s apartment about a week after they got back to Coruscant.

Bail hadn’t been expecting the Jedi, per se, but he hadn’t _not_ been expecting Obi-Wan. Truth be told, he’d been hoping that the man would decide to visit. They had, after all, become friends by trial, and Bail feels like he knows Obi-Wan...far, _far_ too well, now. He’d seen the results of his worst nightmares, had seen the man on the brink of death - things that had brought them together. But Bail had also seen Obi-Wan in slightly softer moments, despite the way the Jedi had, for the most part, held himself aloof and coldly distant. After all, he was there to see Obi-Wan asleep and sat opposite him when they ate, sometimes awkward, sometimes stilted and angry, but sometimes almost _companionable_. During those moments, Bail had wanted to reach out to the Jedi, get to know the man beneath what he was almost certain was a mask. In one of those fits of helpless attraction (it didn’t help that Obi-Wan Kenobi was, despite being a secretive Jedi “monk”, was as unfairly attractive as he was. The aura of mystery he had only made it worse), he had decided to find Obi-Wan and maybe talk to him, or just _be_ with him, despite knowing that they would most likely get into another stand-off and sit in prickly silence for the next three hours. Instead, he ended up witness to a ritual he knew he hadn't been supposed to see. Obi-Wan had been doing katas but in such a way that was almost _intimate_ , as if he wasn’t alone but rather with someone else in some intricate, ritualistic dance.

If Bail was perfectly honest with himself, he’d watched Obi-Wan for longer than strictly necessary. But it had been a mesmerising sight, Obi-Wan’s movements all fluid power and easy grace. More than that, while Obi-Wan was lithe and wiry rather than built, he still had prominent muscles which flexed tantalisingly. Bail had wanted to reach out and run his hands over them (still does) but - after Zigoola, things changed. They’d become friends, for one, and a little part of Bail couldn’t help but think of the way Obi-Wan had clung to him, half in his lap with his head resting on Bail’s shoulder, mumbling nonsense that made the hair on the back of Bail’s neck stand on end. In those moments, all Bail had wanted was to hold the man, this fragile yet seemingly invincible man, and never let him go so long as Bail could protect him.

Now, too, he felt the deeply ingrained instinct to _protect_. 

Obi-Wan stood, shivering hard, in Bail’s doorway. He was still too thin, his baggy robes even more ill-fitting than they were before. The hard white lights of the outside landing cast his features into a pale, skullish mask, his eyes almost sunken in and glinting feverishly.

“May I come in?” He rasped.

“Of course.” Bail stepped aside, half wanting to reach out and catch Obi-Wan, hold him until he calmed, the Jedi was shaking so badly. 

Obi-Wan hovered awkwardly in the corridor as Bail closed and locked the door. He stared around at the surprisingly few coats and suit jackets that Bail had before turning his gaze back to Bail, staring at him intently, as if scrutinising him for - _something_.

“Is there something on my face?” Bail asked awkwardly, and Obi-Wan’s burning eyes snapped up to his. 

Bail’s heart skipped like a jumpy Nabooian rabbit at the intensity of that gaze. It was unlike anything he’d ever been under before, and he knew Padmé and Breha. He felt like he was being pinned in place for all of a tense, electric second: then Obi-Wan shook his head and looked away, a flush sitting high on his cheeks. 

“No.” Obi-Wan looked up at him again and Bail was abruptly aware of how much difference a couple inches of height made. 

Obi-Wan was not _small_ by any means, but as of right now he seemed frail, _breakable_ \- something delicate that needed to be kept safe. His pallid skin stretched tightly across the almost porcelain features of his face, complete with glassy eyes. Both had hairline cracks in them, through which bled something that Bail was almost scared to see.

Even when they had been on Zigoola hanging on to each other for dear life; even after, sitting far closer than strictly necessary, he hadn’t seen this side of Obi-Wan. He’d been there to watch Obi-Wan be ground to dust (razor sharp diamond dust, maybe, but still _broken_ ). He’d been there to see Obi-Wan almost _collapse_ onto his former apprentice, showing far more affection - _attachment_ \- than he believed was possible.

But never this.

He swallowed and watched Obi-Wan tremble, not sure what he was supposed to do. After a few seconds, or maybe an hour, or maybe eternity squeezed into the metre’s space between them, Obi-Wan stepped forward. Then took another step, and another, until he was _right there_ and Bail could _feel_ his presence even though they weren’t even touching. It made something prickling and electric pool in the base of his spine, made his breath catch and his hands twitch with the desire to reach out and touch and cradle and hold-

“May I?” Obi-Wan whispered, but it could have been a yell for all Bail knew; it was all he could hear. “Please?”

Bail didn’t know what Obi-Wan was asking but he didn’t care; he realised, belatedly, that the Jedi could kill him and he wouldn’t care, as long as it was Obi-Wan’s hands on his throat. 

He realised, too late, that he was in love with the Jedi.

And that was the catch, wasn’t it? Obi-Wan was a Jedi, and all they stood for. 

However, Bail found he didn’t care. Obi-Wan may have been a Jedi but he was also so much _more_ than that.

“Of course.” He breathed and didn’t put his hands on Obi-Wan’s hips. 

The _anything_ went unsaid.

Obi-Wan reached upward and put gentle hands on Bail’s face. They were cold and shook against his skin but left fire in their wake. 

“You’re alive.” Obi-Wan swallowed loudly and his eyes flitted like dying butterflies over Bail’s face. “Oh _Force_ , you’re alive.”

His hands feathered over Bail’s features as if scared to touch and yet unable not to. It was all Bail could do to keep breathing, keep looking straight into the Jedi’s eyes. He barely stopped himself from taking Obi-Wan’s hands in his and pressing them into his skin, tangling their fingers together, leaning in-

“Yeah.” Bail blinked and watched Obi-Wan do the same, fine ginger eyelashes over endless blue eyes. “I’m alive. So are you, Obi-Wan.”

Silence. Bail breathed; Obi-Wan didn’t.

“ _Bail_.” Obi-Wan sobbed, an explosion of emotion ( _fear, relief, fear fear fear_ _and something deeper that Bail was still so, so afraid of naming_ ) and in a split second, the Jedi collapsed onto Bail’s chest, burying his face in the man’s shoulder. “Bail.”

“ _Tishoy_ ,” Bail shushed him gently, wrapping his arms around the younger man and allowing himself the liberty of holding him close. Let himself press a kiss to the Jedi’s hair. For one second, he said to himself, for only one, would he let himself turn his head so that his cheek rested on the crown of Obi-Wan’s head. “ _Tishi, tishi, svet_ . We’re okay, we’re safe, it’s okay. _Tishoy_.”

Obi-Wan trembled violently, but he still breathed, chest expanding and contracting within Bail's embrace. He still breathed.

They both did.

"Hey," Bail said, maybe a minute later, or five, when Obi-Wan had stopped shivering and was instead clinging to Bail like a drowning man to a raft, "Obi-Wan?"

The Jedi made an inarticulate noise, listing limply to the side in Bail's arms. He didn't let go, though, his arms staying wrapped around Bail’s chest.

"Are you alright?" It was a stupid question and Bail knew that the answer to it should be a definite _no_. He pulled back a little to see the Jedi’s face, but Obi-Wan just sagged further against him. His cheek smeared against what Bail knew was a wet patch on his shoulder, where Obi-Wan had finally let his tears go. A bad sign if anything. "Obi-Wan, do you want to sit down?"

"I'm fine, Bail." Obi-Wan choked out. Bail didn't believe him. "I'm perfectly alright. But - please don't go."

"Okay." Bail kept his arms around Obi-Wan's waist but started walking them down the corridor and into the living room so that they could at least sit down. "I'm here, I won't let go, _sert_."

The Jedi nodded jerkily, his hands clutching at the back of Bail's tunic. They didn’t find proper purchase, though, so they kept clenching and unclenching, fingers occasionally digging into the meat of Bail’s shoulder.

They eventually managed to get to the sofa. Bail sat down first and pulled Obi-Wan against him, almost chastely. Obi-Wan, though, had other ideas. He twisted weakly in Bail's grip until he could wrap his arms around the senator again and tucked himself into Bail's side. 

More silence, but Bail could feel his heart beating out of his ribcage. Obi-Wan could too, surely. 

"What did you mean," Obi-Wan murmured and Bail steeled himself for the reprimand he would surely receive, "when you called me _svet_? I thought that it’s... a pet name, on Alderaan."

Bail swallowed.

"It is." He breathed out and looked away from Obi-Wan, whose face was still smushed into Bail's chest. "I assume you...know Alderaanian, then?"

Obi-Wan snorted, if a little wetly. 

"Of course I do, my dear senator." Bail's heart jumped at the little word, _dear,_ and he knew Obi-Wan could hear it. "It's a core language. Besides, who do you take me for, my dear?"

Bail laughed, a strangled sound. 

"You are a truly unique being, Obi-Wan Kenobi." 

Obi-Wan raised his head. There was a crease line in his face from the seam of Bail's tunic, and his red-rimmed eyes shone bright with tears. A strand of hair, bright auburn in the low, expensive lights of the room, fell into his eyes, which were an odd tint, something like the seas of Alderaan (of home) that Bail hadn't seen in so long.

"As are you, Bail Prestor Organa." The Jedi breathed and untangled a hand from Bail's tunic to raise it to Bail's cheek. 

There was a moment of silence. Neither of them moved, staring at each other for far, far longer than socially acceptable. But then again, what about them was socially acceptable?

Bail was married. He loved Breha and Breha loved him but here he was, falling too fast and too hard for a Jedi, of all beings. Breha would understand, they'd talked about it before, about their open marriage - but a _Jedi?_

And yet, Bail's heart was so full of Obi-Wan Kenobi that it _ached_.

"I dreamt that you were dead." Obi-Wan's words were quiet like a mournful breeze, lips quivering. "So I came here. To make sure you weren't. Dead. And-" 

"I'm-" Bail started.

"The voice came back." Obi-Wan blurted. Bail didn't know what to say anymore, comforts dying on his lips. "The voice came back and I knew that only- only you could get rid of it, right now. I'm so sorry but-"

" _Tishoy_." Bail rasped and Obi-Wan shuddered.

"Please." The Jedi gasped, his head bowing suddenly, hand cold against Bail's cheek. " _Please_ , I don't know what- but say it. _Please_."

Bail floundered for a moment, looking at Obi-Wan's too-pale face and raw eyes, the way he twitched and shivered.

"You're safe." Bail allowed himself to put his hands on Obi-Wan's waist, rubbing circles into the man's too-sharp hipbones with his thumbs. "I'm here, you're safe."

With a sound not unlike a sob, Obi-Wan dropped his face into Bail's shoulder again. The senator took a hand off Obi-Wan's waist and tangled it in soft ginger hair, petting the man's head gently.

" _Tishe, tishe, sert'la, svet'la_ ," Bail murmured, pressing a kiss to Obi-Wan's temple, "we're alright, we're alright, it'll be okay."

And so, Obi-Wan wept and Bail could do nothing but hold him together. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sert('la) = (my) heart  
> Svet('la) = (my) light  
> Tishoy/tishe = hush, calm, quiet, quieter, quiet (it all comes down to semantics but really those two are just shushing words to soothe/calm someone down)
> 
> Come chat, yell at me, gimme prompts or discuss ideas [here!](https://thedisasternerd.tumblr.com)
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed - there may or may not be a follow-up ❤️


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